How to teach a child to clean up toys

What memories do you have when you hear the word "cleaning"? A wasted day, grumbling parents and a spoiled mood. We carry these associations from childhood into adulthood and tremble at the thought that we will have to "generalize" on the weekend. Kids read our emotions and form a negative attitude to cleaning from childhood… And what if it happens differently? In this article, we will tell you how to teach a child to clean toys and what it takes for a child to want to clean toys himself. And let's start with the main thing: 

A rule that parents won't likeImagine that someone comes into your room and dictates how to put clothes in the closet and in what order to store documents on your desk.

This will cause you a fair revolt, because these things are your property, and only you decide how to handle them. 

Toys are the property of the child, and the nursery (or a corner in the common room) is his territory. His rules apply on it. Your claims about the disorder on the child's territory cause him the same rebellion and indignation. Therefore, remember the main rule and follow it: the child should not remove his toys while they are on his territory. 

Read also: How to raise a child as a rich man Another question is if the toys are scattered all over the apartment.

The rules are the same for all family members on the common area. Your task is to gently and unobtrusively convince the baby that he also needs to learn how to clean up after himself.  

Four reasons to teach a child to clean:When a child removes toys, he feels responsible for his property.

2. It will be easier for the kid to adjust to the rules in kindergarten.
3. Cleaning toys will no longer be the cause of conflicts in the family. 
4. If a child learns to clean up after himself in childhood, then in adolescence he will already do it regularly.

At what age to begin to teachIt is possible to involve a child in work when he confidently began to walk.

One-year-old children with great pleasure perform small tasks. For example, throw a wrapper in the trash or bring a light object. Starting from the age of two, children can already help around the house. The main thing at this stage is to accept help with readiness, not to dismiss the child and not try to do everything yourself. Arrange family subbotniks, involve the child and show how important his help and participation is.

Before you startDo not require the child to clean the toys in his room every time after the game.

Coordinate this rule with all family members. Agree with the child that he must remove toys from the floor before wet cleaning. In order to avoid conflicts, it is important for the child to understand why he should do this. Explain that toys can get dirty or break if they stay on the floor. Show how unpleasant it is to live in a dirty room, how difficult it is to find the right toy if they are scattered all over the house. Organize the space in the nursery so that the child himself can easily fold toys: install functional furniture, purchase convenient containers, boxes or boxes and arrange them in accessible places.

Techniques and life hacks — how to teach a child to clean up toysThere are no ways that "work" with all children and ensure that your child learns to clean up after himself quickly and without problems.

But if you are consistent and persistent, they will definitely give results.

The "Together — by-yourself" technique: start cleaning the toys yourself, and the child will connect in the process. Even if he removes one or two toys, it doesn't matter. Do not forget to comment on your actions: where, what and why you are cleaning. Emphasize that it is you who are helping the child to clean up on his territory, and not vice versa. Each time the child will show more and more interest, until eventually he begins to clean up the toys himself.

The principle of concreteness. Often after playing on the floor there is a big pile of different toys. If you tell the child to remove everything at once, he will be confused and will not understand where to start. Ask them to remove the cubes first, then the constructor, dolls, etc. This will help the child to navigate the chaos.

The principle of positive reinforcement. Praise the child for what he did, and do not scold him for what he did not do. Do not focus on the fact that the room is a mess. Emphasize that the books or dolls on the shelf are laid out very neatly. Do not forget to praise for your efforts, not just for the result. 

Turn cleaning from a routine into a game that is limited only by your imagination. Offer the child: 

• A story-role-playing game in which he tries on the role of a favorite character from a book or cartoon. Together you save the world from disorder or help lost toys find their house.
• An exciting quest in which cleaning toys turns into an adventure. For example, toy boxes are train trailers. And he will be able to continue the journey, if only all the toys will be in their places. 
• A competition with an incentive prize that can be held between children. For example, "Who will put toys in a box faster" or "Who will find and add more cubes".
• Collect toys in a certain time. For example, in five minutes the child must find and arrange all the blue toys in their places. You can't help, but you can tell where to put the toy and how much time is left. 
• Arrange the toys according to the signs. For example, put soft toys in one drawer, plastic toys in another, separate large cars from small ones, etc.

Rewards and motivation. You can encourage the child for each cleaning of toys with some small surprise. But if you introduce a certain system of "buns", the child will form a habit of daily cleaning faster. 

Take a ready-made calendar or draw a ladder on a sheet of Whatman. Agree with the child that for every day when cleaning was carried out without comments and tantrums, you stick one sticker on the corresponding cell (or step). Discuss the desired gift that the child will receive when he collects a certain number of stickers. The younger the child, the shorter the period (from 5 to 21 days), so that he does not lose motivation.

Special box. In it, you will independently collect those toys that have not been cleaned. Hide the box for a week. Tell the child that the toys will return on one condition: if he no longer throws them on the floor.

A tempting offer. Invite your child to go to the park or entertainment center together immediately after he removes the toys. If the baby refuses, clean it up yourself and get busy. To the child's question "Why don't we go for a walk?" answer that you lost a lot of time while you were cleaning. Now it's time to cook dinner, and there's no time to walk anymore. Add that you will go tomorrow only if the child removes the toys himself. And be sure to keep your promise.

You might think that all these techniques are quite complicated. It is much easier to get the child to clean up in the usual order. Find out further what happens to the child's psyche in this case and what the consequences may be.

Why can't I be forced to clean upAnd if you are thinking "how to make a child clean up toys", then the question is not posed correctly — you do not need to force.

 When you force a child to put away toys, you break it. Depending on the sex of the child, a male and female scenario of behavior in adulthood develops.

If a boy cleans only in order not to argue once again and not listen to your abuse, he forms a persistent aversion to cleaning and order. When he becomes independent and lives separately, he will finally breathe a sigh of relief and will not clean at will.

A girl who was told in childhood that the main thing is order will grow up fixated on cleaning. Instead of relaxing or spending time with her family, she will clean and wash dishes. After all, she was taught that no one likes sluts. The fact that mom is always angry and tired, the family suffers more than from the mess in the house.General tips for parents 

These tips will help you tune in to the positive and will be useful regardless of which methods you choose.:

All family members should clean up after themselves, not just the child.

1. A personal example of parents is better than any words.
2. Be patient. Teaching a child to clean is not a quick process.
3. Do not use cleaning as a punishment, let it be associated with something pleasant and useful.
4. In order to form a cleaning habit, you should not miss a single day. Be consistent regardless of your mood or condition.
5. Be restrained. Do not tell the child exactly how to clean up, so as not to discourage him from doing everything on his own.
6. Do not redo the work after the child. If you really want to, wait until the baby falls asleep.
7. Start putting away toys before the child is tired. Otherwise, he simply will not have the strength to clean up.

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Do not make cleaning an end in itself, for which all the mental and physical resources of the child are spent. Let these tips and recommendations help you in the main task — to grow a harmonious personality and maintain a trusting relationship with your child. And independence, discipline and responsibility can be developed by other methods.