How to raise children with different types of temperament: advice from a psychologist

Surely you have already passed temperament tests and know your type. Now it's time to determine the temperament of the child. After all, the types of temperament of children should be taken into account when educating. There are a lot of tests on this topic on the web, but we will focus in detail on the description of each type. After all, it is not enough to understand who your child is, you also need to choose the right approach to his upbringing. Let's go!

How to raise melancholic childrenMelancholics are extremely vulnerable, quiet, calm children, prone to worry at the slightest provocation.

They remember the insults for a long time, and even if they formally accepted the apology, the "sediment" remains with them not for days, but for years.

Such children are distinguished by an extraordinary sensitivity to events in the family, school, and children's collective. Even the frowning face of an adult can paralyze their will, make them cry. What can we say about a beating or censure — they experience this extremely hard. Read also: Computer addiction in children: reasons and tips for dealing with addictionA child deep in his emotions, however, is always responsive and sensitive to the experiences of other people.

Knowing how difficult it is to cope with insults, he will never offend himself and will always feel sorry for the offended. Melancholics are sensitive to the general mood, they are easily carried away by some idea, they sincerely worry about the success of a common cause, but an excess of emotions often exhausts. An overworked child with a melancholic character is difficult to motivate to continue activities — it is necessary to step back for a while and give a break. 

Almost always melancholic = introverted. They are not looking for communication, noisy companies, active games. It is enough for them to have one or two friends and occasionally spend time with them. Such children get the most pleasure from single games, intellectual and creative tasks that can be performed in a calm rhythm. 

Perseverance, attentiveness, diligence help a melancholic in learning. As a rule, they are diligent students, neither teachers nor parents have any problems with them. They are meticulous and diligent performers, they can be assigned any task and be sure that it will be completed.

Parents of a melancholic should not try to break his character: even if you pull out a child to play football with other children in the yard, do not be surprised that after half an hour he will want to leave. And if you insist, he will hold a grudge, may refuse dinner, get upset himself and make you worry.

Do not put pressure on the melancholic, do not impose uncharacteristic activities on him. Let the child choose the classes himself — he will succeed in any of them, if you just do not interfere. 

The child is phlegmatic. How to educateWith phlegmatics, it can sometimes be difficult for parents who have the opposite temperament.

A choleric mother will expect a stormy joy from the child about a new bike, but in response she will receive only a smile and a modest "thank you". The first thought — he did not like the gift. In fact, such a reaction is the maximum degree of expression of phlegmatic emotions. That's literally all he's capable of, there's nothing more to get out of him. 

Phlegmatic people laugh softly and cry just as quietly, they have poor facial expressions, there are almost no gestures of emotion. It is very difficult to understand how such a child feels. And it's not worth it: phlegmatic people with good social adaptation are able to express their feelings, but in a very peculiar manner. 

Efficiency is their best trait. There is no case that a phlegmatic person could not handle. He is pedantic, persistent, goes to the end. He can do routine, monotonous activities. These are just those children who easily calculate the cells in a math notebook, have a calligraphic handwriting, they have no equal in drawing. 

Although they do everything slowly: a phlegmatic person needs a few minutes to gather his thoughts, outline a plan of action and move along it without the slightest retreat. But if a phlegmatic child has mastered some skill, he stays with him forever, even in adulthood. 

Phlegmatic people have calm, focused games. Phlegmatic people are the best chess players! They do not like motor loads, but they adore intellectual loads. Do you want to take such a child for half an hour? Let him solve the crossword puzzle. Until he decides — he won't get up from his seat, guaranteed!

One of the negative traits of the phlegmatic character is stubbornness, which sometimes reaches the point of absurdity. It is impossible to "break" such a child: as he said, so it will be. Therefore, in education, you need to choose a different approach. Not to put pressure on authority, not to threaten punishments, but to negotiate. Phlegmatic children are extremely reasonable and smart beyond their years, they easily accept the arguments of their parents, but only if they consider them sufficiently convincing. 

Phlegmatic people feel insecure in the company — it's not easy to get along with children, and even they accept them with difficulty. But if they make friends with someone, they will keep this relationship for years. Phlegmatic boys fall in love in the first grade, and then, after finishing school, they marry these girls. It is difficult to find a greater monogamist than a phlegmatic one. Therefore, treat his childish sympathies with respect — perhaps this is the person with whom your child will create a family.

How to raise choleric childrenCholeric personifies a storm in a glass.

This person is an emotion, the complete opposite of a phlegmatic person. Here he sobs in three streams, and a minute later he laughs merrily to a funny cartoon. Choleric children are intemperate, hot-tempered, impatient. It is better not to get into situations with them where they are waiting for a long wait. Then you will know exactly what "brain removal" is. 

A choleric is unlikely to sit still. He always needs to run somewhere, do something, communicate with someone. His favorite activity is just running around the room. Consider this feature and place furniture in your home so that it does not interfere with this perpetual motion machine. 

The child's favorite activity is choleric — active games, competitions, swimming, running. They are not much interested in playing instruments, they draw poorly, write "like a chicken paw". The formation of skills in choleric people takes a lot of time due to reduced concentration of attention. They usually start reading later, go deeper into the topic of the lesson more slowly. Bad grades in discipline are almost always for choleric people. 

Parents who got such a child are not to be envied. Their only way out is a clear regime with the steady fulfillment of their tasks. If the child has played too much and has not fallen asleep during, overwork will make itself felt: he will become irritable, aggressive, it will be even harder to put him down.

The speech of choleric people is fast and loud. They have no equal in reciting poetry — they are born artists who can even play solo performances. The bright personality of the choleric attracts others, they willingly recognize his leadership and obey commands. Choleric is impossible not to notice in the crowd, he manifests himself always and everywhere, becomes a popular personality and enjoys it. Sports, tourism, acting are activities that are to the liking of children with a choleric temperament.

In adolescence, they are fascinated by social activities, the fight for the environment, and in the future — entrepreneurship, politics. Parents should direct the energy of a choleric child in the right direction. If it works out, you will be pleasantly amazed by his achievements!How to raise sanguine children

Cheerful smiles are sanguine children.

They sincerely express their emotions, both positive and negative. About them, you can definitely say "soul-man". Selfless fighters for justice, brave "fawns", energetic and proactive — all this is about sanguine people.

The predominant type of activity is sports, dancing. A sanguine person is a child who can walk on the street for 3-4 hours, play outdoor games and not get tired, participate in competitions with pleasure. However, the most important thing for him is interest and motivation. If they are not there, any business quickly gets bored, and the sanguine person does not intend to return to it anymore. 

Academic success is also only if there is motivation. Sanguine traits provide a child with a lively, inquisitive mind, but if, along with studying, he gets carried away with something else (for example, computer games), it is not a fact that interest in learning will remain. The efforts of the parents of a sanguine child should be aimed precisely at motivation.

If you want to achieve any result, explain why it is necessary. 

Sanguine children quickly adapt to new conditions, easily get to know people and join the team. They are not difficult to discipline, they are not prone to rebellion. 

A child with a sanguine temperament does not hide feelings and willingly tells parents about their problems. Introspection, reflection and isolation are not about him at all. He'd rather throw a tantrum than be stressed out for hours. Sometimes a sanguine person can be accused of callousness, but only because he is nervous, calmed down and goes on enjoying life. 

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And at the end of the article we will upset you a little. Scientists have proved that temperament in its purest form is manifested only in 23% of people. The rest are the owners of a whole cocktail of qualities characteristic of different temperaments. Therefore, it is important to at least determine the prevailing type and correct or encourage uncharacteristic features. 

Watch your child, analyze his temperament and help develop those aspects of personality that will ensure him a happy and successful future.  April 28, 2020 2022-11-27 2020-04-28 Rate the article on a 5-point scale Did you like the article?