Where to put the child if the mother works

Mothers show the wonders of balancing every day, distributing a negligibly small number of hours a day for a bunch of things: cooking, household chores, walking, shopping, communication with the child and husband, sleep. But the most interesting thing begins after the decision to go to work. The most important question arises — what to do with the child? Groundhog Day and the censure of society

A woman who is on a prolonged maternity leave is periodically gnawed by feelings of unrealization and loneliness.

She lacks "adult" communication, self-realization, respite from routine tasks. 

The first attempt to avoid groundhog day on maternity leave (the same thing every day) is to work online.

But it is extremely difficult to devote time to clients and perform work tasks when a child is constantly near you.

At the same time, the mother retains the same social isolation and the inability to fully switch to work issues. 

Society puts pressure on moms The close circle of friends and the older generation of relatives are sincerely outraged: why is the child already 3 years old, and the mother still won't go to work?

A woman is branded with the title of "parasite" — openly or by hints. There is an unprecedented number of advisers who know better how to organize her life properly. 

Going to work is a lifeline. Finally, a woman will be able to escape social pressure and at the same time realize her potential - to build a career, earn money, develop professionally.

Learn how to give your child everything for his happiness, even if you are busy with work - at Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online master class "What every parent should know". Problems of a working mother

Deciding to go full-time and find a suitable job was not easy.

But this is far from the greatest difficulties. Now Mom has other problems. 

Combining schedules in the morning and evening There is no problem as such if parents have flexible schedules, they work for themselves and can come/go at any time.

Hired employees with a standard office schedule suffer the most, because it usually repeats the working hours of kindergartens and schools (extended periods). 

But what about the travel time from work to kindergarten/school? In big cities, this is a separate problem — the road can take 1-1.5 hours. In this case, how to take away and pick up the child in time?Also read: How to combine family and work: psychologist's adviceClubs and sports sections

It is convenient when the circles and sections are located directly in the garden or school.

Then the coach / teacher takes the children out of the classroom, and then, after the lesson, takes them back or sends them for an extension. In terms of logistics, this is the best option, because you do not need to waste time on the road and worry about an escort for the child. 

But what if the circle is far away? A preschooler or a junior high school student will not be able to get there on their own. 

TutorsSometimes a child needs additional classes in school subjects.

To improve English or grammar, to prepare for a school competition or Olympiad — all these are the tasks of a tutor. As in the case of clubs and sections, the biggest problem is to arrange for the child to be accompanied to a tutor at home or to the place of classes. 

Sometimes tutors come home to students, but here is another question — how can a child be at home by this time if mom and dad are at work, and it's a long way from school?

Communication with the childStaying in multitasking mode for a long time, a mother may lose sight of one of the most important aspects of raising a child — communication with him.

It is extremely important for children to spend some time with their parents every day. Share your news and experiences, just talk. 

Helping with lessons, going to the store together, or even watching a movie in the evening is not considered high-quality communication. Mom's thoughts are busy with business, and the child needs all her attention. 

How to get out of the situation: 9 tipsIt is not easy to cope with the difficulties that have arisen in connection with mom's going to work, but it is quite possible.

It is necessary to organize properly, allocate time and effort, as well as attract assistants.

• Use the morning to communicate with the child. Make it a habit to wake up a little earlier than you need to get ready for work, school or kindergarten. Breakfast time is a great opportunity to gather the family at the table and chat. Let these 15-20 minutes become a charge of cheerfulness and positivity for the whole day. 

• Find an assistant. This is not a full-fledged (and often expensive) nanny, but a person whose main function will be to accompany the child. Who could it be:

     - a friend of a high school student;

     - neighbor (cheerful pensioner);

     - the concierge from your entrance. 

The cost of the assistant's services is much lower than that of a nanny, since her responsibilities will include only accompanying the child along the kindergarten/school — home route. Additionally, you will have to pay for trips to clubs, to a tutor. 

• Discuss your individual work schedule with your boss. The most popular options:

   - partially remote work (half a day in the office, half a day at home);

   - work without a break due to an earlier departure home;

   - shift of the work schedule (for example, not from 9 to 18 hours, but from 8 to 17 hours).

• Arrange with the extension teacher or tutor. For a fee, a person can sit with your child until you come for him. If there are several such moms in your class/group, divide the costs among themselves. It will be beneficial for everyone.

• Find a non-working mom. Find out if there are any moms in your class/group who don't work, but would be happy to earn extra money. Let her and her child pick up yours after class. The cost of such a service is even lower than the maintenance. But at the same time you will need to take care of dinner or at least a snack for your child.

• Translate classes with a tutor online (via Skype). In this case, there is no need to visit a tutor in person or invite him home, and the quality of training will not suffer.

• Teach your child independence and responsibility. And already from about the third grade, he will be able to return home from school on his own. Of course, if the school is located nearby, and the path to it is not separated by unregulated pedestrian crossings or other potentially dangerous sections of the road.

• If school is far away, hire a taxi. The driver will take the child home or to the section, from where you will pick him up after work. In this case, it is important to choose the right time and duration of extracurricular activities so that their end coincides with the time when you will return home.

• Explain to the child the need to do homework on the extension. And it is better to spend the evening time on rest and communication with the family. At worst, you can do feasible tasks, and the most difficult thing is at home with your parents. 

Learn how to raise an independent child at Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online master class "What every parent should know".Right now, click on the "Register" button and get a gift.

Hospital and quarantine

Due to seasonal epidemics of viral diseases, schools and kindergartens are quarantined almost every winter.

And if, due to the usual flu, it lasts no more than 2-3 weeks, then because of the coronavirus, the children did not attend classes for almost 3 months. 

Parents' indignation with distance education can be understood: after work, it is necessary to take up the second shift. Not just doing homework, but explaining new material to the child, helping to do test papers, etc. 

There are not many options. And each of them has its disadvantages:Leave the child at home.

• He must attend online lessons on his own and do his homework. Minus — it is difficult for younger students to organize themselves and diligently perform all the tasks set by the teacher. It will still need parental control and completion of what he did not have time for the day. Well, the question of safety — not all children can sit quietly all day in an apartment and do nothing.

• Send the child to the grandparents. If they do not work, are relatively healthy and are ready to pay attention to the needs of the child, walk with him, do homework — great. But not everyone is so lucky — this is the main disadvantage of this option.

• Hire a babysitter. The disadvantage is the high cost of services. Sometimes higher than Mom's salary.

With all these shortcomings of the proposed solutions, we can only hope that there will be no more long-term quarantines in our country. 

Things are a little easier with diseases. To take care of the child, the mother can take a sick leave or take a few days off at her own expense. 

*****

Who said that being parents is easy? To give birth to a child, to raise and educate him is a great work. We have to sacrifice a lot, find a balance and be sophisticated in order to meet the interests of everyone — both adults and small family members. We wish you good luck in this difficult but fascinating business. You will definitely succeed!