Conflicts in playgrounds: how should parents behave so that everyone stays alive

A playground is a separate ecosystem that is subject to both generally accepted and unspoken rules of existence. As in any place where a large number of children gather, conflicts are inevitable on the playground. Even if you and your baby are the most peaceful people in the world, you still have to go through an awkward moment a couple of times. 

Our article consists of a list of typical situations that occur on playgrounds, as well as tips on how to do the right thing for both you and your child. So, what to do if...

Someone else's child took your toyYoung children do not yet have a clear understanding that not all toys lying in the sandbox can be taken.

If someone took your baby's shoulder blade, then most likely he will not even notice it, but will switch his attention to another toy. But if you take something out of your hands, there may be crying, and not so much from resentment as from fright. 

In this case, contact the child who took the toy and ask for it back. If it does not give, do not pull it out of your hands in any case. It is better to find an adult who accompanies this child on a walk and ask for help in returning your belongings. 

Your child has taken someone else's toy 

You need to teach politeness from a very young age. Then the rules of behavior in society will be perceived by the child as a natural model of behavior. Parents who have explained these rules to the baby will then find it much easier to instill other norms of behavior in him (for example, in the garden, at school).

Explain to the kid that the toys and things he likes should not be taken away, but politely ask the owner to play. If he agreed, fine. If not, don't get upset. 

In a situation where your baby has already snatched a toy from the hands of another child, come and take it away. Explain your act like this: "You took someone else's thing without asking. Let's find her owner and ask her to play."Learn how to talk to your child correctly so that he fulfills your recommendations at Dmitry Karpachev's free online master class "What every parent should know". 

Broke your toyThere is an unspoken rule: it is worth taking only those things to the site that it is not a pity to break / lose.

Luxury dolls, radio-controlled cars and expensive constructors are better left at home. However, not all adults adhere to this rule. It is difficult for them to refuse a child who wants to show off a cool toy to his friends on the playground. 

So, if your toy is broken, in no way tell off someone else's child. You can simply notify an adult about the incident, with whom he came to the playground.

But it is impossible to predict his reaction — sometimes you can hear something like "you shouldn't have given him" in response. There's nothing to be done about it, except for the conclusion: if it's a pity to break a toy, then it's not worth taking it to the playground. 

If your child has broken someone else's toy, offer to compensate for the cost of repairing or buying a new one. You can also offer to take any of your toys as an equivalent replacement.

"Can I go for a ride?"Borrowing children's transport from each other is a normal practice.

However, if you give a bicycle or scooter to someone else's child, then remember: he can break it, run over a nail, fall and hit. It is necessary to be aware of the degree of responsibility and be prepared for all kinds of situations. If you do not want this, try not to take your transport to the playground or keep it away from the place where children play. When asked to ride, respond with a polite refusal. 

If your child asks other children to take a ride, be there. Control the speed and direction of movement, do not let go too far. Someone else's thing in your child's hands is a signal of the need for increased attention on your part. 

The child does not want to share toysKids perceive their toys as a part of themselves.

Any encroachment on them can cause protest or bitter crying. Therefore, reproaching the crumb that he is greedy, think about it — not all children are ready to hand out their things to others without any problems. 

What if a stranger approaches you and asks for your phone for a while? Surely you will refuse. So it is with children. In order for the kid to share toys, you need to tell him the rules: "You don't give away the toy, you just borrow it for a while. And in return, you can take your friend's toy." 

Your child hit another childFigure out the cause of the impact.

If your child has hit back at the offender, you can limit yourself to a formal warning: "You can't fight, it's better to solve the conflict with words, negotiate." If the kid himself committed the "attack" — this is a reason to think about why he did it.

Children beat other children for several reasons: they cannot express their emotions in words, experiment (try the boundaries of what is allowed and look at the reaction of adults), aggressively defend their rights / interests. 

Invite your child to apologize to the person he offended. Explain that your baby does not know how to restrain his impulses yet, but he will definitely learn. Invite the children to play together. At home, have an educational conversation, tell a fairy tale about a little brawler who had no friends. Repeat repeatedly that it is impossible to beat children, it hurts and offends them.

Learn how to properly and harmoniously socialize a child so that he finds a common language with other children. Register for Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online intensive. Right now, click on the "Register" button and get a gift.Your child was hit

Make it clear to your child that no one has the right to beat him under any circumstances.

But this must be done in advance. And immediately after the incident, take the baby aside, hug and regret. Explain the behavior of the child who hit him: "The boy did wrong, he shouldn't have hit you." 

It is not worth contacting a brawler, but it is necessary to find his mother or grandmother on the playground to notify about the behavior of the child. Communicate correctly, do not exaggerate. For example: "Hello. Are you this boy's mom? He just hit mine. Please take measures so that this does not happen again." 

Also read: How to teach a child to respond when he is offendedSomeone else's mom/grandmother scolded your child

Your baby is running and actively playing on the playground, you are watching him, everything is fine.

But then someone else's mom or grandmother comes up and starts making a remark to your: "Don't run so fast", "Don't jump here, step aside", etc. Children can painfully perceive comments from strangers. In such a situation, they need the support of their parents.

Try to resolve the conflict peacefully: "I'm sorry, but my child does not need comments. He will play and jump wherever he wants." If mom/ grandma does not let up, then the best thing is to go to another place or leave the playground. The fact that there are quarrelsome people who deliberately provoke conflicts is probably not news to you. But to arrange a "bullfight" to show who is in charge here is not worth it. You will fall to the level of a brawler and, as they say, you will lose due to lack of experience.

No one wants to play with your childThere are individualistic children who prefer to spend time on the playground on their own.

They are not eager to make new acquaintances, are not interested in noisy games of children's companies. But if your child is an extrovert, communication with peers is simply necessary for him. He tries to join an already established team, but he is not accepted into the game. Run away or ignore. What to do?

The best option is to take your child yourself. However, it is still worth understanding the reason why they do not want to play with him. Perhaps this is the company of older children: they do not have time to hang out with the "little one". Or vice versa, children are much younger than your child. Everything is clear here, just find a company by age. 

If your baby behaves badly (pours sand on children, selects toys, can push), he may be consciously shunned. Observe his behavior and draw conclusions: if there are moments that need to be corrected, do it at home. And during walks, try not to leave him alone.

The fight for the swingYour child is riding on a swing, other children approach him and ask him to give up his seat.

Explain to the kid that the swing is shared, you will swing a little and go to play in another place. If he is stubborn, invite the children who are waiting for their turn to play with your toys. Or just distract your child: "Let's go eat ice cream." 

The reverse situation: your child wants to ride, but the swing is busy. You wait patiently, but no one thinks to give in to you. Ask the skating child to give you a swing, offer him your toy to play with while you ride your baby. Unfortunately, there are no other ways. You will not forcibly remove the child or arrange a showdown with his parents. Offer your baby an alternative until the swing is free.

Conflict between parentsWhen your child's rights have been violated on the playground, you want to prove to the offender that he did wrong at all costs.

Sometimes it turns into a violent scandal or even a fight between hot-tempered adults. 

If you are tempted to tell a person that his child is ill-mannered, restrain yourself. Think about the fact that your baby is watching you. What example will you give him? And in general, the effect of any claim expressed with insults and shouts will force a person to go on the defensive. Whereas talking in a neutral tone would be much more useful. 

The baby's mother calls the children to silenceYoung moms are in a hurry to join the fun and noisy company on the playground.

They come there with cradles in which the crumbs sleep. At the same time, they "shush" at too noisy children running around the playground. Other mothers can also show solidarity and pull their children: "Hush, the baby is sleeping here." 

But, in fact, adults are wrong. The playground is almost the only place where children can run, jump and shout enough. You don't get very active in the apartment — there are neighbors from below, dad works, mom has a headache. Where else to realize the accumulated "atomic energy" for the whole day?

With a baby who doesn't care where to sleep, it's better to take a walk in the park. This way you can reduce the likelihood of a sudden awakening of the baby from the cry of older children and relax the mother herself — in peace and quiet. 

*****

In conflicts on playgrounds, you can act as both a cause and an object. And for several years of daily walks, you will surely be in both guises. Try to remove emotions and focus only on your child. The playground is the first school of life, after which your kid will be able to easily adapt to any children's team.  September 21, 2020 2022-11-27 2020-09-21 Rate the article on a 5-point scale Did you like the article?