The child wakes up in the middle of the night, crying and afraid: what to do?

Your sweet dream is interrupted by sobs from the nursery — the child has woken up, is scared, is sitting on the bed and crying bitterly. An unpleasant, but not so rare situation. Let's try to figure out why this is happening and what to do about it.Studies of night terrors in children

In 2001, two similar studies were conducted in the Netherlands and Australia.

Scientists interviewed children from 4 to 14 years old on the topic of night terrors and anxious awakenings. The survey results showed that fears make 68% of children wake up on average. At the same time, most of their parents are not aware of this. 

The problem of night awakenings is most relevant at the age of 3-8 years, however, if no measures are taken, night terrors will remain with the child for a long time. 

Stress after moving out is the first cause of night terrorsThe practice of sleeping together with parents is firmly rooted in the culture of many peoples.

Specialists in the field of pediatrics and fans of natural parenthood recommend putting the baby to sleep next to his mother while breastfeeding continues. By the age of 2-3, as a rule, GW is curtailed. And at the same time they send the child to sleep in their crib.

Such a significant change in the way of life of a little man provokes stress.

The night separation from his parents is extremely unpleasant for him, because he has lost a very important thing — a sense of security that appears only next to his mother. 

To adjust the baby's sleep after moving into a separate room is the responsibility of parents. They should understand that this stressful moment should not just be experienced, but as much as possible to help the child adapt to new conditions.

Do you want to learn more about how to help your child to bear any stresses as comfortably as possible? Then register - at Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online master class "What every parent should know". Anxiety disorder and restless sleep

In 2001, Australian scientists studied children with regular night terrors.

Approximately 10% of the sample showed signs of an anxiety disorder. 

It was also found that emotional children are more prone to night terrors than balanced and calm ones.

It all depends on the type of temperament. Choleric and sanguine people are acutely experiencing the events of the past day, accumulate emotions, and this does not allow them to sleep peacefully. 

There is a physiological explanation for this fact: the amygdala (part of the brain) in such children is in a state of increased activity. And as you know, it is responsible for the formation and storage of events with an emotional color. Activity does not decrease even at night, which is why the child sleeps sensitively, shudders in his sleep, wakes up and feels anxiety, fear.

The danger of night awakeningsIt is worth separating the concepts of awakening and the panic fear that it provokes.

These are completely different things, because in itself waking up in the middle of the night is not something bad:

• most people wake up 1-2 times a night, the duration of the sleep break is from a few seconds to an hour or more;
• the ability to interrupt sleep refers to the unconscious skills that we inherited from our ancestors (sensitive sleep for a quick reaction to danger);
• it is impossible to lie in one position for a long time — this can lead to compression of nerve endings in the arms and legs. The ability to wake up to change posture is related to the protective function of the body;
• night wakefulness warns against falling into too deep a sleep, thus ensuring the reversibility of sleep.

At the same time, panic and fright, which occur immediately after waking up, are really harmful. And here's why:✓ Any frightening situation causes an increase in the concentration of cortisol in the blood.

It is also called the fear hormone. At first there is a lot of it, but after some time it becomes less: the body gradually gets rid of excess hormone. 

✓ But if night terrors recur daily, cortisol levels remain consistently high. It will be difficult even for an adult, not to mention a child, to cope with himself against the background of such outbursts. 

Over-the-top cortisol causes chronic stress, anxiety, problems falling asleep, various disorders. This negatively affects the child's studies, activity, mood and even immunity.

Learn more about how your child's psyche works to protect him from unnecessary stress and grow up healthy - at Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online master class "What every parent should know". Right now, click on the "Register" button and get a gift.Why do I need to help my child get better sleep

It is worth understanding — the child will not cope on his own.

It will not outgrow, it will not forget about its "night problem". If parents do not intervene in time and do not help, the situation will only worsen. 

The thing is that the child needs to be instilled certain skills that will help to cope with night terrors. Exactly:Control of emotions.

• It is in vain to demand it from children under 5 years old, but you can start learning self-control much earlier.
• The ability to distinguish reality from a dream or fantasy. Children may be frightened not at the moment of awakening, but even at the stage of sleep — if they see nightmares. For the first few minutes they do not realize that they have already woken up, so they cry bitterly, continuing to relive the events from the dream. For a quick separation of dreams and reality, you can use a simple technique described by K. Castaneda in one of his books. You just need to look at your hands — if you see them, then this is reality, that is, the bad dream is over. 
• Trust in rational conclusions, not irrational fear. For example, the idea that now a huge snake will come out from under the closet, the child should automatically have a response thought - there are no snakes in his room and there cannot be.

Also read: How to put a child to sleep: tips for parentsHow to overcome night terrors

The fight against night terrors should begin immediately, literally after the first episodes.

Take this as seriously as possible, because the problem will worsen over time, which will bring extremely undesirable consequences for the mental and physical health of the child. 

What can be done:Do not dismiss stories about what prevents your child from sleeping and what he is afraid of at night.

1. Do not devalue his emotions, on the contrary — express full understanding and willingness to help.
2. Don't build up night terrors by following "useful" tips like using monster spray or a protective amulet over the bed. So you legitimize irrational fear, confirm that the child needs protection, which means that the danger is real. 
3. Buy a beautiful night light with soft diffused light in the nursery. Explain to the child that if he wakes up and gets scared, he will be able to make sure in the light of the night light that the room is empty, no horrors are happening around him. 
4. Give your child a pet (hamster, fish, parrot) and install their cage /aquarium in the nursery. The presence of a living being nearby will be soothing. 
5. If the child wakes up and screams or cries out of fear, be sure to come to him, calm him down. Demonstrate that you are always ready to comfort him, even if you sleep in another room. Say before falling asleep: "If you wake up at night, call me, I'll come and sit with you until you fall asleep again."
6. After waking up at night, make sure that the child is not awake for too long. If he wants to go to the toilet or drink, give him the opportunity to do so, but do not encourage night wandering around the apartment, watching cartoons or long conversations. Let him try to fall asleep immediately.
7. Do not create a ritual of the child falling asleep in your presence. Read a bedtime story, have a heart-to-heart talk, kiss and cover him up. And leave. Arrange that you will drop by in 10 minutes to check if he is sleeping.
8. If the child came to the parent's bedroom in the middle of the night, it is not necessary to put him together with you. Gently but confidently say that everyone should sleep in their own bed, and take them back to the nursery. Sit next to his bed for a few minutes so that the baby falls asleep peacefully.
9. If night awakenings with fear and panic happen daily or even several times a night, this is an occasion to visit a psychotherapist to assess the psychological state of the child. 

*****

The biggest mistake is to consider night awakenings and fears in a child as a sign of pampering. Like, in this way he attracts attention to himself. This statement refutes the fact that children 2-5 years old are not yet able to so skillfully pretend and manipulate adults. 

Therefore, if you hear crying from the nursery at night, it means that you are really needed there. Help your child to cope with this annoying problem, because the reward will be not only his, but also your restful sleep.  September 9th, 2020 2022-11-27 2020-09-09 Rate the article on a 5-point scale Did you like the article?