Increased anxiety in a child: causes, symptoms, advice from a psychologist

If a child is constantly out of mood, afraid of something, sleeps poorly and often cries - there are all signs of increased anxiety. Let's look at the causes of this condition and the factors that provoke it, as well as give advice on how to cope with childhood anxieties.What is anxiety

In recent years, the number of children suffering from various forms of anxiety disorders has increased.

This is due to many factors: the tense situation in families, immersion in the world of the Internet and gadgets, etc.

But for the most part, anxiety in children arises from the dissatisfaction of their age-related needs. Babies need a sense of security and the constant presence of their mother. Preschool children show increased anxiety in an unfamiliar environment or are afraid of the dark. Teenagers need trust and respect, recognition of their right to their own opinion and freedom of choice. 

Anxiety in psychological literatureThis condition is described in many works of eminent psychologists.

Thus, Z. Freud distinguished three forms of anxiety:

• Real fear is the feeling of danger that any event or phenomenon carries with it.
• Neurotic anxiety — fear of something unknown, irrational fear. 
• Moral anxiety is a product of one's own ego, that is, pangs of conscience, guilt, etc. 

A. Adler considered the feeling of inferiority to be the cause of increased anxiety. But A. Parishioners explained this condition by the presence of emotional discomfort from a real or imaginary problem. 

Do you want to understand all the true needs of a child to help him develop without stress? Then register - at Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online master class "What every parent should know". Forms of increased anxiety

There are two forms of childhood anxiety:

Open.

1. The child consciously experiences certain emotions and demonstrates them by his behavior.
2. Hidden. When the child himself does not realize that he is experiencing anxiety. This can manifest itself in excessive calmness, apathy, or even denial of any discomfort. 

The second type of anxiety is much less common, its main symptom is considered to be the so-called "inadequate calmness". The child is so worried that he carefully hides it, demonstrates complete calmness and detachment from the situation.

How to understand that a child has increased anxietyTo help parents — a small test for self-diagnosis.

Read these statements and think about how typical they are for your child. Pay attention to the degree of severity of each item. Isolated manifestations do not mean anything, but regular cases, and even with a tendency to aggravate, indicate a problem. 

So, increased anxiety is present if the child:afraid of everything new, unknown;

• tense, constrained, reacts sharply to any unpleasant trifle;
• not sure of myself;
• gets tired quickly;
• distracted, commits senseless actions;
• he is prone to negativism, sees only the bad in people and events;
• passive, apathetic, it is difficult to get him involved in something;
• reacts badly to criticism;
• feels guilty even in cases when objectively not guilty;
• criticizes other people for the slightest oversight;
• complains of bad thoughts, terrible dreams;
• sleeps poorly, falls asleep with difficulty;
• often cries;
• cannot tolerate waiting (for example, in a queue);
• avoids any difficulties

Sources and causes of anxietyIt is necessary to fight not only with manifestations of anxiety in children, but also with the causes of its occurrence.

Even properly selected and timely psychotherapy will not bring results if the child is under the influence of stressful factors every time. It will not be possible to get out of this state until the sources of anxiety are eliminated. 

Family— In dysfunctional families, children are anxious and aggressive, they have low self-esteem and at the same time a great desire to prove to the world that they are better than others. 

— The child's inconsistency with the aspirations and plans of his parents. The phrases "How did you disappoint me!" or "Everyone in our family has a higher education, and you are good for nothing" really hit the child's self-esteem, cause him fear of inconsistency with family traditions. 

— Parents' anxiety also infects children. If a mother reacts violently to any offense, is afraid of everything and scares the child with terrible consequences, he will think the same way. 

— Strict upbringing, inflexibility, overprotection form a child's feeling that nothing depends on him. All that remains for him is to be a doll of domineering parents. This causes anxiety and internal protest, and with them anxiety. 

Also read: Is it possible to yell at a childSchool

— Poor academic performance is like a snowball.

Having received a low grade once again, the child is convinced that he is not able to study well. This reduces motivation: "I'm learning badly, well, okay — not everyone can be smart." But if at the same time the child has ambitions, he has anxiety on the basis of the discrepancy between the results of his studies and his aspirations. 

— Scolding a child for poor grades, parents level the value of knowledge. The very purpose of education is changing. It becomes only a tool for obtaining parental approval and a cause of anxiety if the grades are not as high as we would like.

Friends— Some children communicate with their peers for fun.

Others — for the sake of their own fears and complexes. The fear of being rejected by a certain social group makes you dependent on friends and their opinions. 

— An anxious child can reject a group of children himself. It seems to him that they will offend him there, they will not understand, so he avoids any communication, feels uncomfortable in the team.

Learn how to properly protect a child from negative influence from the outside - at Dmitry Karpachev's transplant-free online master class "What every parent should know".Right now, click on the "Register" button and get a gift.

13 recommendations of a psychologist to parents of anxious children

Austrian psychiatrist V. Frankl wrote: "It is not our fears and not our anxiety that matter, but how we treat them."

If you elevate children's anxiety to the rank of a universal catastrophe, be sure: it will still be a disaster. By creating an unhealthy emotional intensity around this problem, you are only making it worse. 

But this does not mean that the child's anxiety should be ignored. The tactics of your actions should be as follows: To establish the very fact of the presence of increased anxiety.

• Find and eliminate its cause and source. 
• Recall the principles of adequate parenting, which will help build a healthy relationship with the child.

To help with the third point, we have prepared 13 tips. Save and reread them in order to correct your mistakes in parenting in time. Recognize the child's right to experience any emotion, including fear, anxiety and anxiety.

1.  
2. Be aware of his life. Be interested in how the day went, talk to teachers, communicate with the parents of the child's friends. You should have an idea of how he lives and how he behaves.
3. Teach your child to talk about their fears. He should not hesitate to ask for help from his parents to cope with emotions and find a way out of this situation.
4. Remind that any problem brings not only anxiety, but also experience. And the ability to extract useful experience even from the most unpleasant events is worth a lot.
5. Be ready to listen to the child. Do not dismiss his experiences, do not hush up and do not downplay the importance of what happened to him. First figure it out and only then make a verdict — forget about it or do something about it.
6. Express an understanding of the child's worries, give similar examples from your life, tell how you yourself coped with similar emotions.
7. Help not only with words, but also with actions. If the child is embarrassed in an unfamiliar environment — hold his hand. If he can't find friends, introduce him to the children of your friends. If he is afraid to swim, take him to the pool with an instructor, etc.
8. Overcome difficulties and solve life problems together with the child, and not instead of him. Be an adviser and support, but don't take on too much. Your task is to give him self—confidence and strength to fight his fears. 
9. If the child does not want to talk about his worries openly, look for ways to get him to talk. For example, through role-playing dolls, writing an essay, etc.
10. Submit any important news and large-scale plans gradually. Prepare the child for this, ask his opinion. If something unexpected has happened, try not to tell immediately. At least talk about this topic first.
11. Do not scold children for poor academic performance, but motivate them to gain knowledge.
12. Charge the child with an optimistic attitude, teach an easy attitude to life. Do not exaggerate your own feelings, do not play out dramatic scenes in front of his eyes. Maintain moral fortitude in difficult situations. This is the best example you can set. 
13. Hug, kiss the child, tell him how much you love him, how you appreciate and respect him. Keep him feeling comfortable and safe with you.

How to quickly relieve anxiety in a childIt happens that you need to overcome anxiety here and now.

For example, to get ready before a performance or to tune in to a trip to the doctor. Use the methodology of the French teacher M. Borb for this. These are simple exercises for quick stress relief. Perform them in a complex or separately:Come up with a phrase that increases self-confidence in a stressful situation.

• Eg: "It's going to end soon," "I'll manage," "I'm safe," or "Mom's around."
• Do breathing exercises: a deep breath through the nose, a quick exhale through the mouth. Teach your child to breathe alternately with his chest, then with his stomach. Use elevator breathing: after several deep breaths and exhalations, you need to close your eyes and imagine that you are in an elevator that is going down. At this time, hold your breath. As soon as the elevator arrived, you can open your eyes, breathe in and feel that the tension has decreased.
• Teach your child to identify where his stress is. Usually it is the neck, head, lower jaw. Let him strain the muscles of this part of the body several times, and then relax. 
• Visualize a comfortable place where the child feels good and calm. For example, in a dentist's chair, let him imagine that he is on a sunny beach, swimming and sunbathing. Going to another place with your thoughts will allow you to escape from reality and transfer the procedure more calmly.

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In some cases, psychotherapy and drug treatment are necessary to combat child anxiety. Do not be afraid of this, but provide support. Remember: returning to a normal life — without fears and anxieties — is not an easy process. But the reward for these efforts will be a happy childhood and psychological comfort of your child. Good luck! October 28, 2020 2022-11-27 2020-10-28 Rate the article on a 5-point scale Did you like the article?