Quarrels between children in the family: why it happens and how to react

Brothers and sisters often quarrel — it's no secret to anyone. This is how they learn to interact with each other. But it happens that quarrels between children cause conflicts in the family. About the causes of children's quarrels, about how to react to them to parents, read the article below.Quarrels between children in the family: why this happens

Disagreements begin when brothers and sisters see the situation as unfair, try to defend what they consider their rights, feel that others do not share their point of view.

Siblings may have quarrels when they compete with each other for the attention and approval of their parents. The closer they are in age, the more prone they are to disagreements.

If you are interested in where outbursts of uncontrolled anger in children come from, this is described in detail in our article: "Why the child beats himself."Of course, it should also be taken into account that conflicts and quarrels between children contribute to the development of useful social skills that they will need in adulthood.

When disagreements are resolved fairly, no harm is done to anyone, children begin to develop problem-solving skills through negotiations. 

Why do children quarrel with each other in the family? There are many factors. They can envy each other, compete, conflict. There are several main reasons for this:Different needs.

1.  
2. Differences in the type of temperament. 
3. Special needs or illness. 
4. Quarrels and conflicts in the family. 

Now let's look at these reasons in more detail.

Different needsAt different ages, emotional and household needs differ.

That is why schoolchildren often may not understand why babies are treated differently from them. Teenagers, on the other hand, develop a sense of individuality and independence, so they may be outraged or frustrated if they are offered to perform household duties or take care of younger ones. 

And children protect their toys and things, learn to defend the right to personal space. Therefore, if an adult brother or sister takes the baby's car, he may react aggressively. 

Differences in the type of temperamentThe individual characteristics of children, their unique character traits affect the relationship.

Some kids behave calmly and complaisantly, while others are active and restless. Parents should take into account the peculiarities of the temperament and character of all children in their upbringing.

Special needs or illnessSometimes a child's health problems change the attitude of parents towards him.

For example, a baby has been ill for a long time, his mother is at home with him, devotes more time to him than to his brothers and sisters. Other children see that he receives an excess of love, affection and attention, so they may have negative feelings — anger, anger, jealousy and aggression. 

Quarrels and conflicts in the familyThe way parents solve problems and disagreements is a model of behavior for children.

For example, if the spouses successfully resolve conflicts, are able to compromise, then the child will behave similarly in a similar situation. When parents shout during a quarrel, break dishes, slam doors, then children, with a high probability, will also behave aggressively, compete with each other. 

How to react to children's quarrels: 4 tipsAll parents want their offspring to love each other, it is unpleasant for them to see how they swear and fight.

Conflicts between children in the family are not something to be proud of. Therefore, it is worth teaching your sons and daughters to resolve differences on their own, and to turn to the elders for advice in extreme cases. 

How adults react when children argue is also quite important.

If mom comes running when the kids come into conflict, they learn that a fight attracts the attention of parents. 

If the elders do not interfere, control from a distance, then the children learn to talk to each other, solve problems on their own. For example, if children are fighting over a toy, then they should take it away, explain that they will not receive the thing until they learn to resolve disputes peacefully.

In addition, rules of interaction can be established in families. Parents should set an example by their behavior, but it is important to remember that quarrels between brothers and sisters are normal.

You will learn more about how to raise a child without conflicts by visiting Dmitry Karpachev's online course: "What every parent should know".But how to wean children to fight among themselves?

There are some simple tips that we will describe further. 

Teach dialogueTeach children to resolve conflicts before they arise.

The ability to concede, listen to the other side's position, and politely argue are important skills. Parents should use their own example to show what a constructive dialogue in a dispute is. In addition, it is recommended to praise children when they cooperate with each other.

Be objectiveParents should not argue about who started the quarrel, find out who is to blame.

It is necessary to let the children "cool down", to sort out a difficult situation on their own. When resolving a conflict, it is important not to sympathize with any of the parties. The parent, in this situation, must demonstrate neutrality. As a result, children understand that adults are on the side of justice.

How to raise a child without punishments and screams, read the article: "10 reasons why children do not hear their parents. What should I do if a child ignores you?".Teach compromise

If children cannot come to a mutually beneficial solution, then adults should teach them to resolve disputes in a conflict—free way - to compromise.

The ability to make concessions to get the desired result will help the child both now and in adulthood. 

Be an exampleChildren copy the behavior of their parents.

Therefore, it is recommended to show by example how exactly the conflict can be resolved. It should be remembered that children are fighting for the attention of adults. Try to resolve the conflicts that have arisen fairly, suggest how to conduct a dialogue, teach to give in. Do not forget that family traditions, joint leisure — improve the relationship of brothers and sisters. 

Remember that sibling rivalry can be positive. This experience will give children the opportunity to stand up for themselves, compromise and learn to get along with others.

Watch the video in which you will learn how to learn to understand a child, to be his friend and ally: "How to achieve obedience from a child."The images are taken from the sources: shutterstock.com