10 mistakes in parenting and how to avoid them for parents

When people decide to become parents, they often have no idea what problems they may face, how to solve them. Mistakes in parenting are a common phenomenon among both young and experienced moms and dads. Each child is individual and unique, so there are no universal methods, they need to be selected depending on the situation, the characteristics of the character and temperament of the child.

What are the typical mistakes of family education, we will tell you further in the material.Typical mistakes in parenting

There are no perfect parents, no matter how hard they try.

Let's look at the typical mistakes of parents in raising children. 

1. Hyperopeka — hypoopeka. 

Overprotection is excessive guardianship of children, which is expressed in the desire of parents to surround the baby with increased attention, to protect him even in the absence of danger. 

Hypoopeka is a style of upbringing in which the child is left to himself with a lack of attention from mom and dad. Both styles have different effects on the mental development of a person depending on age. 

2. Rejection. This style is characterized by the fact that the parent perceives the baby as bad and unsuitable for life, feels anger, annoyance and irritation towards him.

For example, the mistakes of parents in the upbringing of adolescents are manifested in the lack of freedom that they seek, in the rejection of their independence, rejection of their characteristics.

 3. Symbiosis. With this style of parenting, the mother or father practically "dissolve" into the problems of the child.

As a result, both children and parents do not feel like full—fledged personalities outside of relationships with each other.

4. Infantilization of the child. The mistakes of upbringing here manifest themselves in the parental desire to infantilize the baby, to attribute to him personal and social inadequacy.

His parents see him as unsuccessful and subject to bad influences, and in order to protect him from them, they decide everything for him.

The restriction of personal freedom and independence in decision—making are mistakes in the upbringing of a teenager. In the future, he will protest against the rules set by his parents. 

5. Lack of time for communication. Here, the mistakes of parents in education are manifested in the fact that parents try to have time everywhere — to make a career, to perform household duties and in between to raise children.

 

If mom or dad are constantly busy and do not pay attention to the baby, then he closes himself in. It is important to remember that children need their parents to set their priorities correctly and give them time.

6. Lack of rules and boundaries. If a child considers himself the main one in the family, then mom and dad made a mistake in education.

Some parents do not know how to set rules and boundaries, help children to comply with them. The child feels that his needs are the most important in the family, and gets his way, despite the prohibitions.

7. Depreciation. Mom scolds her son for low grades at school, but when he corrects them, she does not notice it.

This is also a common mistake of family education, the so-called "depreciation". This often happens because parents take children's achievements for granted, do not consider it necessary to praise or thank the child.

8. Emotional rejection. Children are open to new experiences, they are interested in learning about the world around them.

The mistakes of parenting here manifest themselves in the inability to show their own emotions and react to the feelings of the child. 

In such families, children do not always know what emotions they are experiencing and how to deal with them correctly.

9. A bad role model. Children copy what they see — emotions, behavior.

If a parent wants a child to grow up happy, loving and caring, he must be a role model.

For example, adults forbid their son to play the console, but they themselves play it. There is a "double standard" — they can, but I can't. In this case, the child will also try to break the rules and obligations at an opportunity.

10. Physical and psychological violence. Unfortunately, some parents believe that raising a "whip" helps.

But this can only lead to the fact that children will begin to be afraid of them, become distrustful, anxious, withdrawn and, possibly, with a traumatized psyche.

How to establish relationships and forgive the insults of the past, read the article: "Why children blame their parents for their failures."Correcting mistakes in the upbringing of children

Of course, any parent wishes the child only good and well-being.

If you want to correct the mistakes you have already made in education, then we have collected some tips.

Admit mistakesParents think that if they apologize to their children, they will lose credibility.

That's not so. The child does not need an ideal mom and dad — he needs parents who are able to recognize the mistakes of upbringing and explain the reasons for their occurrence. Don't be afraid to show imperfection.

One of the most important things parents do for children is to admit their guilt. Remember that mistakes are a part of life, life experience is formed from them.

If you realize that you were wrong, sincerely apologize to the child. And do not repeat this mistake in the future. For example, if you realize that you are too rude, then admitting it and sincerely apologizing will be the right decision.

Show love and accept the child as he isThe lack of attention on the part of parents, the rejection of a child are mistakes in the upbringing of children that need to be corrected.

Show your child how dear he is to you, hug and spend time with him. Remember joyful events together, for example, a trip to the sea or a birthday. For normal mental development, a child needs a manifestation of love and tenderness.

Accept your children. Don't ask them to do what they can't do. For example, a three-year-old baby cannot control his emotions, since volitional self-control is formed at the age of five. Therefore, do not expect him to be patient and patient. 

Do not forget that every child has individual needs and desires.

If he is fastidious in food, do not find fault with him constantly at the dinner table. If he is slowly getting used to the pot, do not embarrass him by talking about it publicly. 

Respect the baby, let him be himself. For example, if you spend most of your time at work and pay little attention to your child, then try to show how much you love him at every opportunity.

What are outbursts of uncontrolled anger in children, how to prevent self-harm, read the article: "Why the child beats himself."Spend more time together

Are you very busy at work and don't spend much time with your child?

How to correct this mistake of parents in raising children? If possible, try to gather as a family at least several times a week. Alternatively, joint lunches are a great time to socialize. Such a tradition is a good way to create an atmosphere of trust and respect. 

You can allocate time to read, even if it's just one story.

Joint viewing of illustrations, reading aloud, discussion of the plot and characters will allow parents and children to get closer.

You can play sports together, go for a walk, choose a common hobby for the whole family. The decision is yours here. The most important thing in this case is the quality time spent together. 

For example, if you do not have enough time for communication or for a child's hobby, due to excessive employment at work, then try to create family traditions and rituals, such as: socializing during dinner, walking in the park. This will help family members to get closer.  

Listen to the childInability to communicate with a child is a common mistake of family upbringing.

Take the time to listen to the kids. Pay attention to the baby and show that his opinion and feelings are important to you. Encourage children to talk about how their day went. Ask clarifying questions, actively engage in dialogue. 

This will give you an understanding of what is really bothering your child. Such constant confidential communication will allow you to quickly convey your point of view, discuss it with the baby. 

For example, pay attention to the achievements and successes in studies or sports of your son or daughter. Communicate, show emotions, analyze the emotional state of the child.

Watch the video in which you will learn how to effectively convey information to children, while saving nerves and time: "8 reasons why children do not hear their parents."Strive for personal growth

All the typical mistakes of family education can be corrected.

A person faces unpleasant situations in order to learn and develop. Turn the lesson you learned from your mistake into action. What will you do if you encounter such a situation again? Think about this question in order to better prepare and not repeat such a mistake again. 

If appropriate, ask your loved ones to monitor you for a while, let you know if you start repeating the same mistake again. 

Another option is to read more pedagogical literature or sign up for Dmitry Karpachev's online course "What every parent should know".It can be difficult to make changes yourself.

If you want to correct the mistakes of parenting, then you can contact a family psychologist who will keep you under control, provide support and help you achieve success. 

The images are taken from the sources: shutterstock.com

February 11, 2022 2022-11-26 2022-02-11 Rate the article on a 5-point scale Did you like the article? Share it on social networks