Do I need to pay my child for grades or help at home

I did my job efficiently and received a decent salary. This principle of motivation works well for adults. But will it be just as effective for a child whose parents "buy" her high grades or help at home? What is the difference between payment and remuneration, for what merits a child can be rewarded with money, why children need pocket money, and whether they need to pay their children — read the article.

Paying good ratings

Do I need to pay my child for grades? Sometimes parents choose the path of monetary encouragement of the child for success in school, if at some point his academic performance begins to fall. Trying to interest and motivate the student, parents offer him a certain scheme of payment and fines. Everyone chooses the most acceptable method, but usually their essence boils down to carrot and stick.

✓ The gingerbread method. Parents explain to the child that studying at school is also a job for which he should receive money. High grades are paid for with money or gifts, and low grades are followed by punishment and deprivation of some of the money earned.

✓ Whip method. Parents do not pay anything for high grades, because education is a sacred duty of the student. But for" unsatisfactory " or bad behavior, the penalty is fines in the form of deprivation of pocket money.

And everything seems to be fine at first: the student tries, does homework, improves grades and behaves well at school. But over time, it turns out that these methods have significant drawbacks:

• The child is afraid to get a B, because he does not want to lose the source of income. As a result, the learning process is associated with fear, and not with creativity and knowledge.;
• the child begins to resort to dishonest methods of obtaining high grades: cheating, uploading finished works on the internet, correcting grades in a journal and diary;
• the child develops the wrong motivation-he begins to learn not for the sake of knowledge, but for the sake of money. If parents stop paying a student, their desire to learn will disappear.

The Grade is not an absolute indicator equal to the student's knowledge. It is important for the child to understand that he learns for himself, and does not earn money through grades. It is the responsibility of parents not to pay for grades, but to create conditions for the student to study, help and support him in his studies.

Paying for help at home

To relieve themselves of some of the household chores and involve the child in work, parents pay for his assistance at home. These can be small tasks (go to the store, wash the dishes, take the dog for a walk) or larger ones (wash the car or sit with your younger sister).

The amount of monetary remuneration is stipulated in advance and varies depending on the complexity of the order. Parents reasonably think that it is better to pay their child for work than to an outsider (for example, a nanny). But this path is also wrong, because:

• the child gets used to receiving money for what is his duty;
• the child devalues the money that he gets so easily (for example, washed the dishes — earned 50 UAH). In the future, they will not be able to adequately evaluate their work, raise money, or analyze what is best to spend it on;
• a child will not want to help their parents selflessly if they know that they can get paid for it;
• as the child grows up, parents will have to bargain and raise prices for his services, because a few hryvnias "for ice cream" will no longer satisfy him.

You can't pay for washing clothes, cleaning the room, or washing dishes. Explain to your child that these self-service skills will be useful in the future.

You should also not pay for other household chores. Each of the family members makes a feasible contribution to the household. It is not fair if only the child receives money for this.

Why you can't pay your children for grades and help at home

Commodity-Market Relations in the family distance parents and children from each other and destroy trusting relationships. The bill, instead of sincere praise from parents, looks like a payoff for the child.

According to Dmitry Karpachev, financial incentives only harm education. Children become greedy and get used to receiving money without making any effort.

In addition, money does not solve the problem. If the child has started to study poorly or does not want to clean his room, try to find the reason for this behavior. Help her make the process of learning or helping at home interesting, so that the child does not need additional motivation.

What you can pay for

Encouraging money should be something special. The child's inner feeling that he deserves this gift is important. You can reward your child in the following cases::

1. The child receives money for helping parents if their joint work is paid for by an outsider. For example, a construction dad makes repairs in a client's apartment, and his son helps him (that is, he is a co-executor). And here you need to indicate the cost of the child's work in advance and be sure to pay the promised amount.
2. The child showed outstanding results in a significant business (winning a competition or school Olympiad, successfully passing an exam).

There is a significant difference between payment and remuneration. Payment is compensation for work that the child already knows how to do. And the reward is a reward for achievements. Reward your child for what they have learned, created, and achieved on their own.

What to do if you're already paying for ratings

First, stop doing this and start regularly giving your child a strictly fixed amount for out-of-pocket expenses.

Find another way to reward your academic success. Replace the external monetary motivation with an interesting joint pastime: go with your child on a hike or to a concert of his favorite band.

Get your child interested and explain the benefits of good learning. Tell them that deep knowledge will help them get an interesting profession in the future. A high profit will help to realize all her dreams.

Try to awaken your child's inner motivation to learn. Go to a museum together, watch documentaries, or enroll your child in online courses that will help you deepen your knowledge of your favorite subjects.

4 reasons to give out pocket money to a child

1. Money helps build relationships with other children. When a child has their own money, they feel more confident. The child can buy what others buy, or treat friends. Thus, money increases the child's self-esteem.
2. The child gets experience with money. It is at this age that it is useful to make all possible mistakes related to money (lose, borrow without return, spend on something unnecessary), so as not to repeat them in adulthood. The task of parents is to allow the child to make these mistakes and explain each of them so that they draw the right conclusions.
3. Money helps the child formulate their desires and gives them the opportunity to realize them. And the ability to be aware of your desires is one of the most important skills in personal development. The child should not spend their money correctly from the point of view of their parents. The key idea is for her to spend the money on her own. When the "money — pleasure" connection is formed, there is a desire to earn this money.
4. Thanks to money, the child begins to realize the value and value of things. She understands that money is not an unlimited resource. The child begins to navigate the prices and quality of the product offered, learns to set long-term goals and plan expenses. As a result, the child develops important skills in childhood: choose, compare, evaluate, and make decisions.

Principles of issuing pocket money to a child

✓ Psychologists recommend giving out pocket money from 6-7 years old. At this age, children usually know what money is for and know how to count it. Explain to your child that the money is given out for personal needs. This amount does not include food or travel expenses.

✓ The source of income should be predictable and regular. Only in this case will the child learn to spend wisely, plan expenses and accumulate funds.

✓ Depending on the age of the child, the frequency of issuing money will vary:

6-10 years — once a week;

11-14 years — once every two weeks;

15-18 years-once a month.

✓ Do not strictly control where the child spends his money. To avoid trouble, discuss with your child in advance what you can't spend money on.

✓ You can't use pocket money as a method of encouragement or punishment. This approach creates an unhealthy attitude towards money in the child.

✓ You can deprive a child of pocket money only if he has damaged someone else's property. Explain that you are depriving money not as a punishment, but as a result of compensation for the value of this property.

✓ There shouldn't be much pocket money. Determine the amount based on your capabilities and common sense. Do not worry if you can not give your child as much money as parents give her classmates. Say firmly,"I'm sorry, but I can't give you any more right now."

✓ Every year, you need to increase the amount of pocket money and the child's responsibilities.

✓ If you think that it is too early for your child to have their own money, do not refuse in a rude way. Calmly and confidently explain the reason for refusal.

✓ If the child lost money or spent it on nonsense, you do not need to refund this amount. Let your child learn and learn from their mistakes.

✓ Give me some advice if your child is going to make a big expensive purchase: tell me where you can buy at a discount and help me choose the best option.

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The tips in this article will help you lay the foundation for your child's future financial well-being.