The child steals: what to do

To discover that a beloved child is stealing money is a difficult ordeal. Thefts occur in both affluent and low-income families. If you notice that your child is stealing, then first of all you should find out the reasons for this behavior. How to do this and why it happens, read further in the material.

Child theft: 8 reasonsParents should remember that no one is immune from such situations, so in no case should you scold the child.

Discuss together with all family members the problem of theft and express a personal attitude to such a social phenomenon. After that, it will be easier for your son or daughter to understand, accept and correct the situation.

So why is the child stealing? There are several reasons:The need to buy something previously unavailable.

2. Kleptomania.
3. Buying forbidden things at home.
4. Stealing as revenge.
5. Theft as a way to repay a debt.
6. Attracting the attention of adults.
7. Increasing social status among friends.
8. Copying the wrong behavior of parents.

Let's look at all these reasons in more detail.

The need to buy something previously unavailableIf a child has little pocket money, then there is a feeling of inferiority, self-doubt, because he cannot be like other children, for example, to buy a cake in the school cafeteria.

Parents should understand the needs and desires of the child and talk to him about theft, explain that this is a bad act and is punishable by law. 

KleptomaniaPerhaps this is kleptomania — a painful attraction to commit theft.

This disorder belongs to the mental and requires a visit to a specialist in the field of psychiatry. Whether or not this disease exists, only a professional can determine. If a child steals from his parents, then this is not a reason to label him a kleptomaniac. Talk to the teenager and find out the reasons for this behavior. Find out how he explains his act, repents or not of what he did. And if necessary, contact a specialist.

Buying forbidden things at homeIn authoritarian families, when there are many prohibitions, children may not buy ordinary things at first glance.

For example, parents do not allow carbonated drinks. Of course, I want to try, so the child steals money from his parents to meet his needs. When a teenager gets older, he can use the stolen funds to buy cigarettes and alcohol. 

Stealing as revengeA child can steal things from one of the parents or relatives, and not take anything from others.

This behavior is explained by a feeling of dislike and resentment towards this person. In order to punish the offender, children sometimes decide to steal their favorite thing from him, for example: a tablet, a phone or a certain amount of money. 

Theft as a way to repay a debtStealing a large amount of money can be a signal that a child has serious problems, for example: he lost gambling, his wallet was stolen, his phone was stolen, he became a victim of extortion by his elders.

In this case, help is needed, not punishment. Talk openly with your child about the reasons for the thefts and the motives for such behavior.

How to teach children to stand up for themselves and whether to interfere in their conflicts, read the article: "How to teach a child to respond when he is offended."Attracting adult attention

In the modern world, both spouses usually work and there is practically no time left for upbringing.

Child theft can be a way to attract attention. It can also occur with an authoritarian parenting style, when parents excessively control the actions and behavior of the child. In this case, children feel lonely and unnecessary. Every day they see parents who are tired and not interested in them. Such children sometimes show their individuality and want to prove to their relatives that they can make decisions on their own and do what they want without coordinating their actions. 

Increasing social status among friendsSometimes it happens that a stolen child spends on friends, so he tries to buy friendship, increase his social status.

This behavior is associated with uncertainty in communicating with peers when a child cannot find his place in the company. In this case, it is important to teach children how to establish connections through the development of communication skills, reading, erudition.  

Copying the wrong behavior of parentsThere are other reasons why children steal.

One of them is the behavior in the family. For example, parents tell the child that it is impossible to take someone else's, and they themselves bring various things from work that supposedly no one needs there. Since parents are an authority for the baby, he accepts their actions as correct and can also start bringing a "found" wallet, phone, toy or money.

You will learn more about how to raise a child without scandals and tantrums in the framework of Dmitry Karpachev's online course "What every parent should know".How to wean a child from stealing

What should I do if a child steals?

It is recommended to find out the circumstances of the theft.  Here a lot depends on age, reasons and motivation. For example, if a child brought a toy from kindergarten, it is not always a stolen thing. We should find out where he got it from, maybe he exchanged it for his own. But if the kid takes the scoop from the sandbox and is convinced that it is his thing, then it should be clearly explained that there is "mine" and "someone else's", and "someone else's" cannot be taken. 

How to raise a child correctly and why you can't use physical punishment, read the article:"To beat or not to beat the child?".How to wean a child from stealing?

We offer two effective ways:Confidential communication.

2. From an early age to accustom to the value of money.

Confidential communicationTrusting relationships between parents and children are the basis of education.

You need to pay attention to the child, share your experience with him. And then, in a difficult situation, he will turn to you. 

If a small child deliberately stole a thing from another, then it should be explained to him that the baby will cry and worry without his favorite toy. Parents need to help return the item so that your child does not feel a sense of shame and does not get the label "thief".

Some situations may seem hopeless to a teenager, for example: extortion of money by high school students, and here he will need the support of parents, both emotional and physical. 

It is important to remember that you cannot label a child as a thief.

Don't compare him to the neighborhood kids: "And Vanya would never do that!", "Ira does not take someone else's!". Do not offer the kid to give his thing as payment for the stolen one. If possible, do not discuss this act with other relatives and friends. Do not remember the theft, consider the situation closed and completed. Pay attention to the child, create trusting relationships.

From an early age to accustom to the value of moneyTell your child about how you earn.

If a son or daughter is asked to buy an expensive toy, then explain what else you can spend such money on and why this purchase is postponed. You can do this in the following ways:

• Teach your child to appreciate someone else's work and spend money rationally. Plan the family budget with him, allocate money for primary and secondary purchases. 
• Teach you to count and accumulate capital. To begin with, let it be the purchase of the very desired toy. Give your child the opportunity to earn or save money on their own. Show how to spend money wisely, avoiding impulsive purchases. By personal example, demonstrate how to manage finances, and your child will resist the temptation to take someone else's. 

Demonstrate by your own example how to behave, explain that stealing is bad, that such behavior is punishable by law. Talk to the child, form moral qualities, values and ideals of an honest and decent person. This behavior will save you from problems in the future and help you grow a happy person. 

Watch a video in which you will learn about the causes of children's lies: "What to do if a child is lying to you?".The images are taken from the sources: istockphoto.com , pixabay.com , shutterstock.com