Psychology of children: how to understand your child

Have you noticed how children develop quickly? Every day they acquire new knowledge and skills, gradually turning from funny babies into mature, formed personalities. And, sometimes, they surprise us with their interesting life position, an adult view of things, sincere emotions.

Children go through stages of development, the study of which is engaged in child psychology. Its main task is to identify and explain the features of the child's behavior characteristic of each age period. Psychology of children is a complex and important science. 

The found patterns allow parents to better understand what is happening in the baby's soul, because the term "psychology" in Greek sounds like "psyche" — soul, "logos" — teaching. 

Relations with the outside world

Human interaction with the outside world begins before birth and continues throughout life. Psychological processes are especially intense in childhood. During this period, patterns of behavior and relationships with parents, other children, grandparents are formed. 

"Mother — child"

These relationships are formed during pregnancy. It is important for a child in the womb to hear the calm voice of his mother, to feel her touch and stroking.

After birth, the psychological bond between mom and baby is strengthened. Mom becomes not only a person who cares, feeds and protects, but also gradually turns into an object for imitation for a girl and the main source of positive emotions for a boy.

Psychologists recommend moms:Do not concentrate communication with the child around household matters.

• It should be interesting to talk to you on any topic and spend time with you at any age.
• Do not lose vigilance, but do not allow overprotection.
• Do not transfer your negative life experience to children.

See also: Methods of parenting: 10 effective methods of parenting

"Baby Daddy"

The formation of a child's personality is influenced by both parents equally, but in different ways. The task of the pope is to become a role model for the boy and protection for the girl, to instill moral principles, to provide a sense of stability, integrity and value of the family.

In the first years of life, the kid believes that dad is someone cheerful and reckless, who can throw up to the ceiling or make a funny face. The role of the "holiday person" during this period is convenient and pleasant for both parents and the baby.

In the process of growing up, the role of the father changes. For a boy, he becomes a kind of "guide" to the world of men, and for a girl, he becomes the first spiritually close person of the other sex.

It is important for Dad to build close communication with the child, but do not forget about the educational role. Maintain a balance of rigor and affection, control and trust, restrictions and rewards.

"Relatives are a child"

Grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles help children develop behavioral models in society. Thanks to communication with adult relatives, the baby's horizons expand, he learns to build relationships with other people, realizes his role and place in the family.

It is important that relatives who often come into contact with the child understand their responsibility in the formation of his personality and their rules of upbringing do not run counter to the rules of parents.

"Child — other children"

Communication with other children helps the child to learn:

• to build friendly relations in the team;

• share your life experience and perceive someone else 's;

• solve conflict situations, resist aggression, protect other children;

• respect different life positions and opinions.

Children 1-3 years old do not separate other children by age. They play with the same pleasure as with the same kids, and with older guys. A little older (4-5 years old), they begin to actively interact with the same age, strive to take possession of the same toy, fight for leadership in the company and the attention of adults. A social structure appears in their games, which gradually becomes more complicated. By the age of 5-6, children prefer collective games to individual ones.

Young children constantly make new friends, the period of friendly relations between them is short. With age, these connections become more permanent. Social connections play an important role in the psychology of the child. 

Parents should contribute to the formation of the child's social circle. The unifying factors may be hobbies, sports, extracurricular education.

Speech development

Conscious speech is formed by the age of two years of the baby. At first, it has an extremely simplified structure. The child uses 2-3 words to describe his desires and needs.

By the age of five, the structure of spoken language almost completely corresponds to that of adults. Children imitate the intonation of their parents, often use their expressions. Therefore, it is important for parents to pay attention to the purity of their own speech, avoid slang, dialectisms, profanity. The more beautiful you speak, the more beautiful your child will speak.

Development of intelligence

The process of developing the child 's intelligence was described by the Swiss scientist J. Piaget. He identified four consecutive stages:

• Sensorimotor. In time, it coincides with the period of infancy. The child learns to coordinate the information received from various sensory organs, monitors objects, tries to get them, grab them, i.e. the volume of arbitrary motor skills increases.

• Preoperative thinking. Accumulation of knowledge about the surrounding world. The child does not yet express his needs with words, but tries to do it with behavioral reactions.

• Specific operations. Speech, problem-solving abilities, and logic are rapidly developing. The child acquires knowledge about space and time, quantitative indicators. This stage begins at about the age of six and lasts 3-4 years.

• Formal operations. The child is able to understand cause-and-effect relationships, formulate his own hypotheses.

The duration of the stages of intelligence development is individual. Therefore, parents, on the one hand, need to monitor the timeliness of the child's acquisition of intellectual skills. And on the other hand, do not panic if he is late somewhere.

The development of feelings

Experts distinguish 2 types of feelings:

• Basic — appear immediately after birth. With the help of them, the baby reacts to changes in the environment, expresses an attitude towards close people.

• Acquired ones are more complex feelings: friendship, love, gratitude, fear, resentment. They are formed under the influence of behavior and values instilled by parents, as well as on the basis of information from the outside world.

The development of feelings forms the concept of a child's emotional intelligence. Is he able to recognize other people's emotions, empathize with them? The combination of positive and negative feelings forms the concept of morality.

Parents should explain to the child the emotions that he feels, but does not yet realize. And also to teach to manage them — to control, to express to the place, to choose the form of manifestations.

10 tips on how to understand a child

1. The newborn informs his parents about his desires and feelings by crying. After a couple of weeks, you can learn to distinguish "hungry" crying from crying when overexcited. The schedule of meals, walks, and sleep will help in this. Did the baby cry? Look at the clock and you will understand why.
2. The whims of a child are not always the result of disobedience. At a tender age, children only learn how to behave in society and do not always react correctly to external stimuli. Is the baby crying loudly in the store? Do not rush to scold him. Maybe he's tired, scared, he's hot. Your first reaction should be a desire to understand the cause of the problem, and only then — to begin to eliminate it.
3. Respect the wishes of the child from the first years of his life. Instead of scolding the fidget, accept his active thirst for knowledge of the surrounding world and make these trips safe.
4. Teach your child to express his thoughts as accurately as possible. Instead of "I'm bored" say "let's go for a walk", instead of "I don't like school" — "I don't like math". Having received accurate information from the child, you will be able to react to it correctly.
5. Use art therapy. The technique will help diagnose the psychoemotional background of the child, teach him to express feelings and correct problems. An ordinary drawing of a child will tell about his psychological state. A specialist practicing art therapy will help with the interpretation.
6. Listening is not equal to hearing. Parents sometimes listen to the child with half an ear — this is a mistake. His stories about games, friends, events at school, in addition to the obvious meaning, are able to reveal the nuances of behavior, hidden emotions.
7. Keep your finger on the pulse. Be interested not only in the personality of the child, but also in his social roles. Communicate with the parents of his friends, monitor the situation at school. This way you will be able to find out about the problems earlier than the child himself will tell you about them.
8. Build trusting relationships. The better you cope with this task, the easier it will be to go through a difficult teenage period with your child.
9. Develop the emotional intelligence of the child. A person who is able to sensitively recognize the emotions and motives of other people, as a rule, has no problems expressing his own feelings.
10. If you want to understand a child, understand yourself. Ross Campbell, an American professor of clinical pediatrics, writes in his book "How to understand a Child": "It is extremely important for both parents to be able to honestly look at themselves and evaluate themselves, to have the right idea about themselves. Parents should respect themselves so that their children develop the same attitude towards themselves. They must love themselves, only then will they be able to love their children with the unconditional love so necessary for their development."

Parents' knowledge of the psychology of children will help them cope more easily with the difficulties of upbringing. Learning to understand your child is not an easy process, but it is quite possible for each of us. Maximum attention, trusting relationships, consistency of actions and moderation in reactions are the main principles for achieving mutual understanding between parents and children. May you succeed!