How to raise a girl: key questions on raising a daughter

How to properly educate a girl in the modern world? She should grow up to be an elegant lady, a decent wife and housewife, or maybe an absolutely independent and independent woman? A couple of centuries ago, there were no such issues, because the role of a woman, as a rule, was reduced to taking care of the family and home. In the 21st century, everything has changed. Therefore, many parents of girls have lost their bearings and do not always understand how to properly raise a girl.

Mistakes in the upbringing of a girl

Mom plays a special role in the upbringing of a girl. She gives her daughter an understanding of what it means to be a woman. Part of this function goes to the grandmother. But mothers and grandmothers often make mistakes in education. Let's consider the most common of them.

1. To say that a girl should. "You have to be kind and sweet." "Be modest, you're a girl." "You have to be able to cook." All the "you must" attitudes develop in the girl an attitude: without these skills and qualities, you will not become a full-fledged woman and, in general, you are not worthy of love.
2. The condemnation of men. Any comparison of men with cattle and expressions in the spirit of "they all just need one" forms a negative belief in the girl that "all men are goats." With such a belief, it is difficult to find a mate and build a happy relationship.
3. The imposition of marriage. Some mothers tell their daughters that the most important thing for a woman is to get married. Imposing this role is wrong, because a girl can marry not for love, but wanting to please her mother. It happens that mothers condemn men, and when their daughter grows up, they talk about the importance of marriage. The discrepancy between the settings leads to the fact that an adult girl does not quite understand what she really wants.
4. The prohibition on the manifestation of femininity. The little girl likes to put on her mother's shoes and dresses, paint her lips and spin in front of the mirror. Do not forbid or ridicule these impulses, this behavior is normal — she is learning to be feminine.
5. Excessive care. When a restless mother forbids her daughter to walk, communicate with friends, and asks her to account for every action, this negatively affects the child. The daughter becomes nervous, she has a tendency to rebel and do everything to spite her mother. Also, such girls grow up to be independent. Already as adult aunts, they often wait for mom to come and solve all the problems.
6. To speak ill of my father. Whether he is in the family or not, it is undesirable to criticize him. This can negatively affect the girl's perception of men in general and prevent her from building a happy personal life. It is also undesirable to say "all in the pope" in the context of bad heredity. The girl will feel guilty. At least it's not her fault.
7. Corporal punishment. Children should not be beaten, regardless of gender. Psychologists admit that corporal punishment affects girls even worse than boys. Girls' self-esteem drops from this and they get used to the role of the victim. If the father beats the daughter, in the future it is likely that she will choose an aggressive man for her husband.
8. Don't say compliments. Some parents do not praise the child enough. In order for a girl to have a healthy self-esteem, she should hear pleasant words in her address more often.
9. Quarrels with the child. The clarification of the relationship between mom and dad traumatizes the child's psyche. Especially when parents shout, insult and blame each other. The girl unwittingly adopts the format of the relationship between her parents and in her future family, conflicts will be resolved by scandals.
10. To give installations for life. Do not choose a profession, hobby, or life partner for the child. It is not necessary to stand firmly on the fact that getting married and having a child is the most important thing in a woman's life. The girl herself must determine her values and desires — so she has more chances to become happy.

Read also: How to teach a child to kindergarten

9 tips on how to raise a girl

Psychologists suggest focusing not on the future role of the girl in society, but on her being formed as a person. It is not so important whether she chooses a career, marriage or prefers to combine both roles. The main thing is that she understands her true desires. There are several general rules in order to properly educate a girl from birth to adolescence.

1. Teach her to take care of herself. Tell us about how important it is to get enough sleep, wash, and brush your teeth. In the morning, comb your hair together, do hairstyles. It will be good if you teach your daughter to sports from an early age. Optimal sports activities for girls are rhythmic gymnastics, tennis, yoga, dancing. Pay attention to pair dances, because they help to get closer to the opposite sex.
2. Get used to proper nutrition. Do not force the child to eat forcibly, let him eat exactly as much as he wants. Tell the girl that you need to eat when you feel hungry, and not when you are bored or sad. Don't buy her chocolates to comfort her. Attempts to seize stress lead to eating disorders.
3. Don't criticize her appearance. For example, if a girl's body is not perfect, then there is no need to make fun of her. It is also undesirable to criticize your appearance in the presence of your daughter: complain about wrinkles, excess weight and other shortcomings. Such complaints will form her opinion that being a woman is constantly suffering because of her shortcomings. In addition, try not to entice your daughter with glossy magazines, so that she does not worry about the discrepancy between the models. Tell us that these women do not look like this in reality and they also have flaws.
4. Teach useful skills. Instead of telling the girl "you should be able to cook," invite her to cook soup together. Gradually give your daughter the main role. She cooks, and you help her. Teach her to ask for help from others. Of course, it would be easier and faster for you to cope without her participation, but try to find a compromise. You can set aside one day a week when a small chef will be the main one in your kitchen.
5. Emphasize its advantages. Tell the girl that she is beautiful. Do not forget to praise the inner qualities: intelligence, intelligence, imagination, friendliness. When discussing other people with her, also try to pay attention to their inner qualities, so that she does not evaluate people only by appearance.
6. Teach her to understand emotions. From an early age, help the girl talk about her emotions. When she is naughty and pouting, say "now you are offended", if she stamps her foot — "you are angry". Say it in a calm, friendly tone. Talk about your emotions. It is important to teach the girl to be aware of her emotions and to recognize the emotions of other people. This skill will help her to better understand herself and others.
7. Teach the girl to be creative. Mastering a creative skill will help the girl develop a sense of beauty and, perhaps, find the basis for a future profession. Vocal classes are suitable for timid and shy girls. They strengthen the respiratory system, develop voice and hearing. Drawing develops aesthetic taste and the ability to combine colors, teaches self-expression. Needlework will help you become more patient and diligent.
8. Let her know that her opinions and feelings are important. Listen to the girl to the end without interrupting. If she talks about her dreams, don't laugh at them. When it seems to you that your daughter's offense is inappropriate and crying is strange, do not rush to blame her. A girl has the right to express her feelings openly. Perhaps for you semolina porridge for breakfast is not a reason for tears. For a daughter who does not like semolina, this is a small tragedy. Try to understand her.
9. Formulate the concept of an ideal relationship. The best example for a girl will be the harmonious relationship of mom and dad. If it is impossible to show such an example, you need to explain in words, remember the heroes of books and movies. A girl should understand that a good relationship is one where she is calm and comfortable. Where her desires are appreciated and her feelings are cherished.

One of the important elements of a child's upbringing is his own example. When mom makes her bed in the morning, washes her face, combs her hair and exercises, her daughter will begin to copy her behavior.

It is not always necessary to reason with the child only with words. If you do not keep the house clean, but at the same time tell your daughter how important it is to be a hostess and create comfort, she will catch the discrepancy and therefore is unlikely to believe you. Be an honest parent that you want to be like.