Children's manipulations: how to react to parents

Psychologists believe that a person learns to manipulate in early childhood. First with simple actions such as crying and screaming. And gradually perfects this art throughout his life. 

Let's not forget that a child has excellent teachers — parents. "If you don't finish your porridge, you won't watch cartoons," "If you don't listen, we won't go for a walk." Even if mom and dad try not to use such a technique in education, there is no guarantee that the baby will not become a manipulator — he can just learn it from others. 

It is important for parents to recognize this behavior as soon as possible, and to know how to react to the manipulations of the child. What you need to do so that this does not lead to negative consequences, read further in the article.Children's manipulations:

what is itChildren's manipulations are the desire to influence loved ones in order to get what they want.

  How to understand the reasons for this behavior, and what can be done to prevent it? 

Why does a child manipulate parents:does not know how to cooperate on equal terms;

• he wants to seem more mature, to show his importance;
• he wants to have a completely working way to always achieve what he wants.

It is not difficult to recognize them. The main thing is not to confuse it with a lack of attention. If the baby falls and does not get up, expecting to be picked up, does not want to remove toys without remuneration, do not rush to fulfill his whims.

Often, in order to gain the favor of parents, little cunning people come up with sophisticated ways: they begin to flatter, use the "if — then" method. 

The kid often repeats the same situation, using the same words, gestures, facial expressions. Parents constantly feel that by their actions the child is driving them into a corner. Every time out of a small problem (for example, to put on tights, going to kindergarten, to collect a briefcase for school), he arranges a whole performance, which is repeated daily. All this is manipulation. And so the kid tries to establish his control. 

About how children react to prohibitions, read the article: "The child does not understand the word "impossible": advice to parents."How a child manipulates parents

This behavior is typical for any age.

The main methods that children usually use:

1. Hysteria. The child attracts attention with hysterics, terrible behavior: rushes around the room, throws toys, cries, falls to the floor. If this happens in a public place, for example, in a store, parents try to give their child what they want as soon as possible, just to stop the hysteria. 
2. Deliberate absent-mindedness, helplessness. The child constantly forgets something: tie his shoelaces, fasten his jacket, leaves notebooks, a hat at home, and the like. Parents are worried, worried about their clumsy, and the baby is happy that he is in the center of attention. 
3. Simulation. A way that is used at any age. Once he sees his mother's reaction to a rash or temperature, the baby remembers it and uses it for his pleasure. You can not go to kindergarten, complaining that your stomach hurts, skip school because of an imaginary headache. Parents will regret and believe.  
4. Flattery. A child falls asleep with compliments to his parents for no reason. He tells how much he loves them, how lucky he is with them. Compliments are followed by a request that he would not be able to receive under normal conditions. This is the most harmless, but you also need to be able to resist it.

It will be interesting for you to watch Dmitry Karpachev's video: "What do you need to know about children's age crises? The crisis of 3 years in a child!".How to react to a child's manipulations: 6 tips

If you notice that the child has started to manipulate, it's time to take action.

Knowing the ways of struggle, you can influence children's behavior by directing it in the right direction. Next, we will describe several ways that will be useful in raising children.

You can learn how to raise a baby without quarrels, reproaches at Dmitry Karpachev's master class: "What every parent should know."Give your child as much time as possible

Actively participate in the life of your child, be interested in his thoughts and mood, play with him, do homework.

So you will become a worthy example for the child, he will constantly feel love and support from your side. And he is unlikely to want to manipulate his parents. 

Respect the opinion of the babyCommunicate with the child on an equal footing, listen carefully to his point of view — he must understand that parents treat his opinion with attention and respect.

If you refuse something, be sure to explain why.

Show confidence in your rightness Define boundaries for yourself: what is good, what is bad, what is unacceptable, and what is permissible.

This will make it easier for you to make decisions that should not be influenced by external circumstances in any case.

Try to establish a partnership in a relationship with a childDo not stop working on relationships: there should be no understatement and empty promises in them.

If for some reason you cannot fulfill a child's request, explain why you have to refuse. You will not become a victim of manipulation if you are honest with the child. Children should understand that they can trust you and tell you about everything they would like to do or get. 

Control your emotionsAlways keep calm when communicating with your baby, even if he has upset you greatly, and it is difficult to control yourself.

If, instead of a calm explanation, you break into a scream, it will only spoil the relationship with the child, another time in a similar situation, he will simply close up and not admit what he did, or will not tell about his problem.

Recognize the child's right to negative emotionsChildren can show that they are upset about something, cry and throw tantrums if they do not get what they want.

Do not scold them for this, do not use punishments. But it is also not worth making concessions.

And remember: the main thing in a relationship is trust. Children tend to copy the behavior of adults, and if they notice that they are not believed, they also show distrust, manipulate. It is important to find a compromise. And how successful it will be depends on the parents.

How to teach a child to manage his anger, read the article: "The child is often angry: what to do."The images are taken from the source: pixabay.com , unsplash.com